Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl?
Yep today is my least favorite Holiday and even though it is not as bad after 20 years its still annoyingly painful. I admit Father's Day doesn't get as much hype as Mother's Day, but it still affects me from time to time. I learn to become numb to the Father's day ads, commercials, sales and tributes. Growing up with inner-city children in Richmond it was normal to be raised in a single parent household, so being around people who could identify what i was going through was a big help. However, It has definitely been harder since college because now I have friends that come from different backgrounds, which sometimes make me the odd ball out of wedlock child. Then I have friends who have been affected by divorce who think that it is better to not have than to have and have lost. Now i do believe it is harder to miss something you never had, but the big picture is that I have and probably still will NEVER get to experience the importance of having any type of male role model in my life.The most important part is that i have forgiven my father and if he tried to ever get back in contact with me i would most likely accept his apology. I am also aware that i have older half brothers and sisters hopefully one day I'll be able to meet them before our time is up on earth. I refused to go to church this morning because I prefer to sit around the house and sulk on this day, but I now know that this is not what is best for me. What is best for me is that I get up and go to church and praise the one and true Father that i serve from above.
I have lived and know that I will keep living a very blessed life without a father. I have to also be a good role model for my little brother that is coming up 8 years behind me. It is even more crucial that I show him how to be successful because as a boy he is always unconsciously seeking a role model. I also have to be strong for the future family God will bless me with. The bottom line is i can't afford to NOT forgive my father. That would only be hurting me and I am the last person I want to hurt.
Labels: Father's day
posted by Jadey @ 4:09 PM
1 Comments:
This was very heart-felt, Jade, and I am happy you could write about something so important to you without succumbing to negativity. Luckily, you have a strong mother who can be both your mom and your father, as you said on FB. And even though that might not be the "same" as other kids upbringing, that is love you will never outgrow :)
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