Ruby in the Making

False Alarm

My laptop is not back :( I need a new one or a new motherboard...decisions decisions

posted by Jadey @ 5:52 AM 1 Comments

THE LAPPY IS BACK!!!!!

MY LAPTOP IS BACK!!!

Yes and we weren't even charged over 200 dollars... why? Because My mom knows people that know people lol. I would like to say no thanks to the GEEK SQUAD at Best Buy for overcharging and taking advantage of people. i think they are trained to act like they don't know what they're talking about so they can take our money regardless. But it doesn't matter now cause lappy is back :)

posted by Jadey @ 5:29 PM 1 Comments

Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl?

Yep today is my least favorite Holiday and even though it is not as bad after 20 years its still annoyingly painful. I admit Father's Day doesn't get as much hype as Mother's Day, but it still affects me from time to time. I learn to become numb to the Father's day ads, commercials, sales and tributes. Growing up with inner-city children in Richmond it was normal to be raised in a single parent household, so being around people who could identify what i was going through was a big help. However, It has definitely been harder since college because now I have friends that come from different backgrounds, which sometimes make me the odd ball out of wedlock child. Then I have friends who have been affected by divorce who think that it is better to not have than to have and have lost. Now i do believe it is harder to miss something you never had, but the big picture is that I have and probably still will NEVER get to experience the importance of having any type of male role model in my life.

The most important part is that i have forgiven my father and if he tried to ever get back in contact with me i would most likely accept his apology. I am also aware that i have older half brothers and sisters hopefully one day I'll be able to meet them before our time is up on earth. I refused to go to church this morning because I prefer to sit around the house and sulk on this day, but I now know that this is not what is best for me. What is best for me is that I get up and go to church and praise the one and true Father that i serve from above.

I have lived and know that I will keep living a very blessed life without a father. I have to also be a good role model for my little brother that is coming up 8 years behind me. It is even more crucial that I show him how to be successful because as a boy he is always unconsciously seeking a role model. I also have to be strong for the future family God will bless me with. The bottom line is i can't afford to NOT forgive my father. That would only be hurting me and I am the last person I want to hurt.

Labels: Father's day

posted by Jadey @ 4:09 PM 1 Comments

New Blog!

So....I may be neglecting this blog for awhile because of my love for psychology: I have a new bloghttp://diaryofpsychmajor.blogspot.com/ ...however when i have another breakthrough or personal problem I'm sure I'll be right back :)

posted by Jadey @ 10:06 AM 0 Comments

Through Heaven's Eyes

I was too hyped when I got the Prince of Egypt Soundtrack. Don't try to act like yall didn't like this movie when yall were younger! And i was even more hype when i listened to the song Through Heaven's Eyes and understood the lyrics! :


So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life

Look at your life through heaven's eyes
Lai-la-lai...

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys?
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through heaven's eyes
Look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through heaven's eyes

Growing up it is easy to fall into the trap of looking at my life with my eyes on earth. This is also why i admire the song Fall Back by Christian rapper Lecrae because he talks about all the lies & temptations of the world that try to trip you and how its up to us to stop listening to them. When I look at my life through Heaven's Eyes things become less complicated.

For example, I've always wondered why bad things happen to good people, or why bad things happen when things are going well in general. When I look through Heaven's Eyes all that matter is that I continue to be myself and the blessings will follow. The world may tell me i need to change or be this or that, but if i look through Heaven's eyes I don't need to do a thing, but continue to be faithful to my morals and the father i serve in Heaven.

Another one of my fav lyrics (i put it under my picture profile box on FB lol):

No life can escape being blown about
By the winds of change and chance
And though you never know all the steps
You must learn to join the dance
You must learn to join the dance
Lai-la-lai...

This is something my mom has been trying to teach me all my life. The unexpected may happen in your life, but this does not stop you from living nor does it seize your surroundings.This is why I must "learn to join the dance". I will never know all the facts of life, but this should not stop me from being the best i can be.

I LOVE MUSIC!!!

posted by Jadey @ 8:42 AM 1 Comments

No lappy!

I MISS MY LAPTOP!

But who else cares besides me? No one! My mom said she is happy that my laptop is under construction because i don't need to be on it that much. She's right...Being without technology is probably best for me. Technology can ruin lives, but it has not ruined mine... it just made it suck sometimes. Technology has made it easier to see people's business. I'll sit here and analyze other people's lives which always have the potential to make me think my life sucks. And it doesn't which is why i need to stop lol.

Well I'm sitting here in Bon Air Library in Chesterfield doing my technology errands and i glance at facebook and realize that I'm not missing anything lol. I do miss talking to my friends, but other than that i need to lay off the internet for awhile. Besides movies, books and food is making my world right now!...but don't get me wrong as soon as i get my laptop back I'll be right on it...but I'll monitor my use :)

posted by Jadey @ 11:06 AM 1 Comments

Aftermath

After I have written the facebook note on who I am as a compassionate person I felt light as a feather. I felt that now that I have confronted my weakness, nothing can stand in my way. Everything happens for a reason, but in the end God has my back as long as I stay true to myself.

What hit me the most is the people i touched with my epiphany. I've never been the type to share my feelings or rant on about how i feel, but now i know that has been a mistake. My feelings and opinions I've learned are just as important and I will never know unless i let it out. As one of my friends reminded me in the end Actions speak louder than words. Now all i have to do is back up what i say with my actions: I'm ready, but is everyone around me ready? Of course not, and this is how God likes to test me. Everyone is not going to be as mature, honest and forgiving as I was raised to be, which means i have to work harder to continue to be myself around those others.

I was talking to a friend of mine and her friend about a problem she has with someone. (I'm talking Bi-polar/obsessive issues with this person) When they found out that I've been giving this person the time of day they were really shocked and said I was a good one. I thought about it and i know this person has taken advantage of my kindness just so they can have a source that is close to my friend. This will stop immediately. I will no longer be the rag doll that will put up with anybody's mess. Time to start following my own rules. Does this mean cussing out people? Of course not, i will continue to be my smiling self because that's how you win :)

posted by Jadey @ 10:43 AM 1 Comments